mother's day

Today has been really hard. These last 7 months have been really hard. I am a mother and I miss my baby boy so much. Today and every day. For the rest of my life I will miss Elliot.

I think Angela from the Little Bird blog said it best:

"For the women who have lost children, Mother's Day simply becomes another holiday to smile through for the sake of others, a day to stay home from church because of the inevitable baby dedication, to avoid all stores, but especially flower shops and restaurants; a day to retreat within ourselves and think about the little hands that should be reaching for us, the voices we'll never know saying "Mama," and "I love you."

It is impossible to think of a gift we want, because what we truly desire we cannot have: one more minute, one more kiss, a little more time with the ones we lost."

Credit to Angela Rodman, http://angelarodman.blogspot.com/2011/05/on-mothers-day.html

Bereaved Mother's Day

Yep. How sad is that? Apparently the first Sunday in May is International Bereaved Mother's Day. I suppose it's nice to have recognition that I am still a mom, but it's very bittersweet. I would much rather be oblivious to all this and be celebrating my first mother's day with my 7 month old. It's hard not to imagine what E would be doing now. How would he look now? Would he look more like me or more like his daddy? Would he be sleeping through the night? Would he be a fussy baby? So many questions that will never be answered. Happy Bereaved Mother's Day to me and to anyone else unlucky enough to be a member of this terrible club.

http://carlymarieprojectheal.com/2012/05/international-bereaved-mothers-day.html